Driver 8 take a break

I want to make beauty more important in my life.

What does this mean? Not fresh-flowers-as-dictated. Not things.

A pine cone holds its seeds in quiet, and when it opens its many tongues to speak, the seeds fall away. Lost or given. The pine cone's purpose for existence expires, but that's when we pick it up to admire. That's when it's most delicate.

Or, let's put it plainly: I want more risk in my life. Everything looks the same as far as I can see. My husband cooks the same three meals all the time. I've nearly stopped cooking because there's no pleasure in it.

I need to think more about the companionship of beauty and risk.

School is about to start and I will again be alone for most of my days. I am yearning so much for this that my lungs feel twisted around. I don't know why it's so hard for me to be around all three of my other family members at once.

I'm not sleepy, but I'm tired.